Black Women Asian Men United

To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.

   I'm curious to read the feed back for this one. Ummm as of late I have moved and am back in a familiar area. Most the folks around me for most part lived here all they life. Now usually I receive crazy looks from crazy people and I mean G building crazy. But since with my change of address it also came with a change of roommates.

   It just so happens that one of my roommates is a very attractive 22 year old female. If I had her permission to post a picture I would so members could understand. She happens to be attractive and black. So as of late we go out and grab a couple drinks and something to eat. Or just ride to the corner store to grab a wrap and so on.

   But all the black men that are around when we hanging out. Become very angered when seeing us together. None has had the courage to bother asking if she was single. So when I was speaking to the clerk at store. He had asked me , is that your girlfriend that comes up here with you. So i explained no , he then told me the slick comments men would say when we leave.

   They don't like it , they don't like it at all. Now when I'm given the crazy eye , I'm known to give it right back. Usually fallowed by the efff is you staring at. But what erks me more is the fact none of them bother to ask if we are together. They just see it and start hating. It even goes as far as their is a man who ask for change , he was so mad he refuse to ask me for any change. Which i don't mind cuz it saves me the trouble of saying no.

    But the stares of disgust or hate works my nerve. So has any one else had to deal with this. Its open for men and women. As a black woman , have you had to deal with insults from your own race for your preference in men?

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I think some ppl look out of curiosity, it is like a circus sideshow for them. But if you know you are def getting dirty looks, honestly it is normal ESPECIALLY for Black men. Even though the girl is your friend and not your gf it has been an age old rule that Black men will date every race of women under the sun, but Black women are supposed to sit on their ass and wait for their Black prince to come! You didn't know??

You are absolutely right. You know what's sad is that those guy probably date outside of the black community but always giving the evil eye to black women if they even see her with a man who isn't black. I've gotten the evil eye in NYC but in L.A. the men here had no problem commenting but it wasn't worth the trouble. I agree with Nadiyah, just ignore them.

 Lol , I agree with the both of you. But I'm finding it difficult to ignore. I'm finding it amusing in someways and a blessing in others. And yes , I've met plenty who use race as a way to convince women. Usually they say something along the lines of all he want to do is smash , he'll never love you. Then the same man that swore his word was the gospel do what he accused the other man of. 

   Yeah , that's the problem. Though we may not be a couple. But for some one to open their mouth and say some disrespectful things bc they feel we are. I can't ignore that b/c I feel like I was tried.

I find this interesting. I have dated Asian men for 15 years. I am trying to remember if I ever got any looks. I can't recall. I wonder if:

1. I live in California... I dated a few in other cities but mostly LA or SF
2. I am Carmel complected. Many times I am not sure if they recognize a mixed couple at first even though I look like a black woman
3. I don't give a damn. Maybe cause I'm a woman but my mates have also carried themselves like they don't give damn also so everyone else follows suit. 
4. I'm older than my 20's and I don't give the impression that I am the least bit interested in anyone other than who I'm with.

Maybe this sheds light. Maybe not. But  
I also was going to say. Chest up. Shoulders back. Don't give a damn. Carry yourself like "I got this". You'll get less looks. Seriously. They'll be replaced with mass respect. "I see you Asian in the house handling his". Black people will challenge you by nature so step up in your comfort level. 

If she is that beautiful then make sure you are commanding the area. They will step off. ;)
Black men will punk you if they feel they can. Boom!

I agree 100% with Tam about having confidence.  If you act hesitant or weak some people feel comfortable making their snide comments.  At least where I live you will get major respect for being able to pull a good looking black woman. They are not hating...they want to know what you are doing right. You're more likely to get a I didn't know your people rolled like that. I don't necessarily think black people will challenge you but they have some high standards for giving out respect.  Earning the respect of black folks is a another topic. 

It's a combination of all the above. I live in Georgia and it's not as backward as people think....it's just certain areas are backward.  What I've noticed is that the socioeconomic status of the area tends to have an impact on whether people feel free about expressing their opinions or not.  Manners and income should not be tied together but some people make it that way.

I have a caramel complextion as well and sometimes it either confuses people or it makes you blend in more depending on who you date interracially.  Whenever I dated a latino people assumed I was Latina.  No one said boo when I dated an Asian guy.  I'm black and both my parents are black. 

It does help when you don't give a damn.  I have never given a damn about what other people thought about who I was involved with.  I'm older too and the I don't care attitude I had in my 20's has compounded exponentially. 

    I live in Atlanta as well. I had moved back over into the Doraville area. This was just something as of late that I noticed. A friend of mine used to tell me about some of the situations he had been in before due to interracial dating. I do agree that backwards living depends on the area at times. But what amazes me is that no one bother to ask.   I do agree about the comment you made above. However when I was speaking bout the hating part. I was speaking about it with only the knowledge I was given by the clerk. I understand that for most parts I like to think most people are more in aww , but this particular day it wasn't aww but more ughh.

     

Atlanta is weird. There are areas that are very progressive and some that are backwards as hell.  I tend to stay in my zone... Acworth, Kennesaw and Marietta.  My sister actually lives in the city of Atlanta...too much drama down there for me but she's one of those people who loves city living. My sister only dates white men...She used to not care about race but somewhere down the line she started filtering men of other races out. 

I completely understand what your saying....I believe its all about confidence on both sides. You can't worry about the concern of other people when your doing what's right and justifiable.

Cris, I thought about your answer for 2 minutes and I say.... Nah. I don't get them. Cause I dont see them cause I don't pay attention to anything that's stupid. I am way too confident to care if someone disapproves of me and my fine ass Asian man. I don't notice cause they don't exist. 

I have felt uncomfortable with it in the pass. I went to an 80% Japanes cherry blossom festival withmy ex when we first started dating. I was really nervous. He grabbed my hand and marched my black butt thru every inch of that location. He didn't display a bit of hesitation or discomfort. From that day on, I stopped from giving a damn. 

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