Black Women Asian Men United

To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.

So basically, I am a mixed girl, half black and half white who has actually been adopted by a fillipino family. Now, I love my family to death and I
Know they love me but, it is kind of weird because my other doesn't exactly approve of my brother and sister dating black men or women and then I am sitting there like "Um half black? Offensive!"

However some days I don't know who to identify with, I hardly ever identify with my white side, my black side is what I knew best before my adoption but, now it seems like I also feel a certain closeness to other Filipinos because I was raised by Filipinos.

It's just weird so when it comes to my attraction with Asian men, only Filipinos have ever seemed remotely interested only once they find out about my family. I guess I'm a little hurt.

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Constant struggle you have to deal with right there. I am half black, half german. My mom's side (german) I never had those problems. My cousin's were my biggest obstacle. Either I spoke or hung out with too many white people. My cousin's are, what we'd classify as "hood", and in the beginning, they could not grasp the fact that I never acted the way they did. Now it has more or less, become a joke. 

At some point you'll have to develop the "fuck it" mentality. Don't stress over things like that. Just do you. Just be you. And just love you exactly the way you are. I remember I used to cry myself to sleep, hoping I'd wake up one color (race). The inner struggles you have to deal with are much worse than the negative things people say or do simply because you always second guess yourself. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

Maybe those people do act only interested once they find out about your family but dating is all about trial and error. Who knows if it wouldn't go anywhere once you actually started spending time together. Sure, it sucks, but it's almost the same as someone only approaching another based on their physical appearance or if they have money. There's always going to be something that initially attracts someone to another person.

Have you ever tried asking them why they do not approve of your siblings dating outside their race? How would they feel about you dating black men as well? The guy I work with is mixed too (white/black) and his baby's momma's parents will not claim he or the child is part black. They just call him white. And in their own, completely retarded way, they love him too. Prejudices towards people will never go away. It's about how you let it affect you. I always try to keep in mind that there are people that are in far worse predicaments/situations so my feelings of self-pity are petty. People will believe, say, do what they want so I will do the same.


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