To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.
I come to this site infrequently because I am an older woman and although I enjoy the rhetoric here, I find people my age is scarce here. I do love this site however, because regardless of age, the discussion is real and I enjoy reading what others have to say.
My grandson is Black/Chinese and he is an adorable, very intelligent, sometimes rude and obnoxious five year old. He loves do everything in front of the mirror. As an infant, his Asian family did not accept him but as he grew older, they accepted him, fawn over him, buy him EVERYTHING he wants and more and now he is the spoiled little boy I have today. I have a set of twin granddaughters (4months) who are Black/White and another granddaughter (5 months) who is Black/India and my oldest granddaughter (4 years) is Black/Hispanic. All of their fathers have wonderful personalities, they respect my daughters and love and care for their children.
When I was 16, I fell head over heals in love with an 19 year old man from China. We got along wonderfully all summer long then he had to go back to his country as his work was done here. We kept in contact for a few months afterwards and the pen/pal relationship ended as I entered med school.
I have always been attracted to Asian men, and know the magnitude of how expansive "Asian" is. Yet when I meet a man or simply people, for that matter, I deal with personality and how well we get along as individuals. The first criteria is respect. He/she has to respect themselves then others and me. Respect enough to listen to my likes and dislikes and the statements shared. I expect this from myself to others as well. If I see that the first criteria is not met, I move on respectfully. I may keep that person as an acquaintance, someone that I say good morning and good evening to, but that's just about it. I learned that it is just not worth the trouble nor time trying to get along with someone who doesn't listen, which balls down to, who doesn't respect me enough to absorb the magnitude of "...I am Khmhu (Native Laos) and NOT Korean" as you informed this young lady. She would have always seen who you are from Korean lenses because she did not respect you enough to absorb what you told her several times and remove the lenses from in front of her vision.
I am sorry that you had such a horrible experience with this young lady as so many of us as Devon Alisha Bradley stated "...being a black woman we put wayyyyyy too much emphasis on pop culture asian and every girl puts too much emphasis on wanting their FANTASY relationship." that we forget regardless of race, ethnicity and culture, we are human first and foremost and need to be treated as such. We have our basic needs, wants and desires and often, women lose sight of who the other person is in light of what WE want.
Don't lose hope, that person you may be looking for is out there. Sometimes we have to meet a lot of "not so nice and not right" people just to find that one person who may be our "soul mate," and as I look at my son in laws, it was not a particular race that attracted my daughters to these men, it was their wonderful personalities that they fell in love with and the race, ethnicity and culture kind of took a back seat to who they really are.
your spot on with a lot, but Asians are not everywhere.
Personally i can count on my hands of how many Asian men i've seen here in my city.
When i went up north however, it was a completely different story.
A very nice, haha.
Where you are plays a very big role.
I loved reading this. Great points made.
this was funny but true.
Very good post, although I'm years late. It seems those issues listed are still relevant today. I recently spoke with an Asian guy who spoke about his annoyance with the girls that lead with the anime, kimchee, Asian name without the husband or heritage thing. He found those actions offensive. Sure, some guys may not care, but it's best to approach as a woman thank with a stereotype. And I definitely co-sign about men being men and wanting sex (not that women are exempt fully). Some BW believe that all AM are great guys, non-players, etc., and, unfortunately, find out later that human nature transcends race, culture, etc.I think Black women, as a whole, have taken blow after blow from society about our beauty. It seems Asian women and White women get the benefit of the doubt of having good character without having to prove it, whereas the beauty of good among Black women is constantly challenged, rather than each individual woman given the benefit of the doubt. I think one of the best thing anyone can do is get a healthy sense of self and self-love. It doesn't solve everything, such as the non-BM approaching us like a thug, but it helps us not be so thirsty (desperate) for ANYONE, that we can send them on their way if the guy isn't willing to approach as an individual man, instead of a walking stereotype.
If you have ever said 3, 4, or 7.... do yourself a favor and just..... shut up. Disappear.
Anyways, I probably have felt this way about guys when it comes to "thugbees".
I was talking to this one guy, and all he talked about was rap, hip-hop, and... whatever. I had no idea who or what he was talking about. I was so lost. Then he started asking me "Do you like fried chicken?" "Watermelon"? I replied "Do you like cat & dog?" He shut up hahaha. He thought I was strange for some reason cause I didn't listen to rap. But I like all kinds of music, just not most rap or country. He would text me sometimes in Mandarin which I thought was cool, but he was too much for me. We were too different. If you're trying to date a back girl just because you like hip hop and rap, thats pretty racist and vice versa if you date an Asian cause you like anime or kpop etc (I was really offended and kind of sad. I thought to myself "Is this the only Asian guy I can get?")
I was going to label him as having a fetish... but then I realize thats what other people may say about me. Kpop and anime isn't what got me to like Asian men, but it did help me discover and appreciate a race that has a small voice in mainstream media. I was always the smart girl who liked going to the library, and one day I discovered manga. Then I realized, "these cartoons I've seen are anime" and I started watching more. Then I got into Japanese music and took Chinese classes in highschool. I dated a Filipino guy who introduced me to Kpop. As a teen, I never went through the crushing on guys stage. I was "Asexual" pretty much. After dating Asian men, I found my preference. People who think Asian men are unattractive can't understand this, and they are entitled to their opinion. I use to judge other people and Asian men for being "thugbees" but.... maybe thats their passion. My passion is learning new languages, and I take interest in learning characters from Asian languages. Just because he isn't right for you, doesn't mean you have to insult the man. (Unless he askes if you like watermelon, then you have my permission to go full retard.)
I'm still waiting for 9 to happen. I met this really nice guy I have a lot in common with. He's Caucasian, and everyone thought we were dating cause we're always seen walking together, in classes together (gaming/snickering not paying attention to professor), eating together. He walks me back to my place sometimes. And he's tall~~ But we have different beliefs, and he's confused on his sexuality right now haha He's a great guy so ...you never know
The guys you posted pictures of - straight fire!! I do like most Asian men but I am not attracted to Indian men most of the time. I'm not usually attracted to Black men but hey, everyone from anywhere could catch my eye at any time. I have run across a few of these guys but I take it as men are men and no matter where you are a dude is going to be a dude. I happen to live in Arizona where you don't see many AMBW couples but I don't give up. I met the love of my life who was born in Korea, immediately adopted in the US (so does that make him a "Real Asian" or not hahaha I didn't care, he was a great guy) and HE approached me! I was shocked because that doesn't happen much here but when it does it's great. Unfortunately, he passed away otherwise that would absolutely be my husband. I have also met those guys in my travels who are just looking for the hookup. I don't care if the guy is just looking for the hook up as long s he is HONEST about it. That goes for any guy, I don't care where he is from. Be honest and you never know what will happen. I will admit until I told myself how stupid I sounded I believed the "they only want sex" BS Oh and two others that I believed was "Asians don't like Black people" and "everyone is going to stare at you" Well, in my travels I found that not at all to be the case in MY experience. Everyone was nice and I think only one or two people looked at me for more than a second in a way that could be a stare. It is difficult to meet people living in Arizona but the Asian population is growing so I stay positive.