Black Women Asian Men United

To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.

Is this a Do or a Don't?

Life is too short and I know that by taking a chance you might just end up with your Happily Ever After, hey you never know. But I had a situation today at the gym. This Asian guy and I have been eye balling each other for weeks and we just happened to walk in the gym at the same time together. Me feeling a little confident today (PLUS it was pre-sweating :) I said, "Hi I see you here a lot" (Yes I know that line was lame but it was all I could think of at the time lol). He said, "I notice you here a  lot too, I like your smile." I replied, "Thank you" but than the unthinkable happened, he said, "If I was into black women I would have asked you out." Imagine a cartoon character with a gun in their hand, putting it up to their head and pulling the trigger, yup that's how I felt at the time. After I quickly picked up my ego, pride and confidence off of the floor, I nicely smiled at him and said, "Thanks, I hope you have a good work out."  He kindly replied, "You too." Than I went to the locker room to hide out for a moment before getting my work out on.

I JUST got off of the phone with one of my female friends, who happens to date interracially and her opinion is that a woman should NEVER approach a man, ever. She asked me if he hadn't said that last line would I have asked him out, and to be honest, I really don't know. So I wanted to get feedback from my AMBW Family, is it okay for a Black Female to just ask an Asian man out? Thoughts, comments, rejection stories (jk) all are welcomed, thanks.

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I say do it. 

Be brave.

I even made a video out this. Ill post it later.

I'm looking forward to it. :)

I guess if you don't take the chance you'll never know. And I can't knock him on his preference either, my ego was just kind of hurt. But it's in recovery right now. :)

Wow, before reading this post, I was all for making the first move. I think that it is good that it happened before you asked him, that would have really been shameful. When you have confidence though, it makes it easier. In this day and age, I think that some men may still prefer the old fashion approach where them men always maks the first move. I think that sometimes, the men take too long and if you want somethig, you go after it.

Yes times are changing nowadays. When I lived in NYC I was at the train station and this Asian man passed me, did the double look and so did I when we were walking pass each other. Than he turned around and just complimented me and than asked me out. Which I was surprised and please, we dated until he moved back to Hong Kong, I wasn't ready for marriage, so we ended the relationship on good terms and still speak to this day. He's a great Man.But it was he who made the first move and even to this day I'm glad he did.

Thank you so much Mr. T for your help from the male perspective. You did have me cracking up with the name Mr. Gym Asian though lol....I wanted to do a good comeback so bad after he said if he were into black women but I honestly couldn't think of ANYTHING, my old Improv teacher would be ashamed of me lol. Better luck next time though. :)

Lol girl you are so bold, it took me weeks to work up the confidence to speak :) ...But even though I lost that small battle I will win the war and keep it positive. Thanks for all of your advice.

Shoot, if half the women I dealt with didn't get aggressive or give me a super obvious hint, I would have never known.  At least you get to choose.  Your friend fears rejection and still lives by traditional means, that's great and all, but people are not always aware of their choices, so sometimes you have to make them aware.  Even if it ends up as a fling, it gives you some sort of control over your life. 

I don't have anything really to add to this except that guy is a penisface for his "If I was into black women I would have asked you out." That's all.

Okay, I will add a few more words. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting someone know you're interested in them. I've approached guys on more than one occasion, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. I think the thing about it is if rejection happens not to let it get to you too much. LOL sometimes I see it as completely dodging a bullet as I've had other encounters with those guys that left me glad we didn't have that date.

Lol @ the Penisface comment :)



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