Black Women Asian Men United

To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.

What are you now too old or too young for as daters in their 30s and up?

Ok so since I'm in my early 30s,  Don't misread me. I definitely know what I want in life and relationships… buuuuuut I'm finding that I'm back in an awkward tween stage of dating and romance. No one can call me too young but yet and still I'm still kind of teetering on what is age appropriate, what works, what I have energy for etc. I know what I'm too old for, but it's hard finding the right comfort zone esp when dating. To date up or down in age?  do we party or lounge? is it time to settle or turn up?! I just want to hear from other people to get an idea. After 30 is a magical time.. usually a time of great transition. Some are finally finding themselves and otters are finally reconnecting to themselves and shedding bad past relationships and decisions..where are most of you at? Am I the only one feeling a bit lost in the mix? enquiring minds want to know.. 

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I just turned 30 so I'm still waiting to see what it's gonna bring my way. I'm the kind of girl thats always in a relationship and when I'm not..I'm trying to rejuvenate. For the past couple years tho, i been feeling like jeez are there any real men out here who want the same things? I wanna settle down BUT i like to turn up every now and then. I have no kids but I'm not against dating a guy who has any. I'm not against dating down nor up. Its more so a connection. I just want honesty loyalty and be as drama free as possible. I swear this is the generation of hooking up and having "situationships" lol maybe its just me...i have always known what i wanted out of a relationship, nobody has presented themselves I'm keeping hope alive

I'm 36 years old and know exactly what you are going through. We find a 'self' in our 30s we just couldn't possibly find in our 20s because we just hadn't lived enough life yet at that time. 30s for me is beautiful. There is an emotional independence like no other, oh and by the way, you get more attention from men than ever, and I mean from every walk of life, racial background, etc. We party but as 'grown folks'. We do not get tipsy, drunk, or high.  I personally come from a biblically conservative home, so that lifestyle was never tolerated, yet I was taught how to drink with class, and how to where sexy clothes that actually cover the body properly. My grandmother, mother, and I dance the popular Latin dances we see today for many generations, and we do wear attire some people would consider risque, but culturally, they are acceptable in the French Creole culture. I hope you do not over think this matter, because trial and error is necessary to an extent in order to find your new self. You will enjoy yourself as you get older, and believe it or not, attracting the right man gets easier and you will see signs of that for yourself as well. You attract who you are. That's the law of life. The better person we become in time allows us to increase our ability to attract great people and great moments.

The old adage goes, "age is just a number". However, I am inclined to believe that it depends on the maturity level of the person that you are dating. With that being said, I probably still would be very hesitant in dating a man that is under 25 and even 25 is a bit tender for me. I find it harder choosing which age is too old. I have dated older men, but the problem with that is many of them have already attained the life that I am looking to live and don't want any parts of it anymore. They simply enjoy dating around and having the companionship without that dreaded "C" word, oh I'll say it C-O-M-I-T-T-M-E-N-T.

To be honest at this age, and I am speaking for myself here as an established, educated, career-oriented woman, that is my main goal. The playing has been done. Figuring out who I am and what I want out of life is done, now I just have to find it. Or perhaps that is my problem? Maybe I shouldn't be actively searching for it, but rather patiently waiting for it.

Are there men who find themselves in this predicament, or is this a single woman's struggle?

When I hit my 30s my vision became clearer. I fought against it at first trying to merge my wants and needs. I soon gave up as God gave me a clearer picture. Now it as if I am a horse with blinders on not every man turns my head it has to be a certain quality in him to turn my head.


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