Black Women Asian Men United

To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.

When I was in Japan, I'd heard that women were called "make-inu" (literally LOSER DOG) if they weren't married by the time they were 30 (this has jumped a bit...they used to look down on women that weren't married by the time they were 25). It was interesting because I was in my mid 20s when I was in Japan and when women found out I wasn't married, there was a little surprise, but it was quickly met with, "oh it's okay because you're American." Many Japanese women who watched shows like Sex and the City thought many Americans had a cavalier attitude about marriage and it wasn't a big deal to marry later in life, or sometimes not at all.

But I think America STILL has ideas of women being married at a certain age. Three of my friends got married this year, and two are getting married next year. Two other friends married by the time they were 25. Another friend of mine is constantly looking for a man while another is dead set on getting married by next year (she's turning 30). In general I've always been the "single" girl (LOL or the "wild child" depending on who you talk to). I'm not really interested in marriage let alone doing it in two years. Yet sometimes I do feel that I should being thinking about marriage if just to add to the severely low stats of black women that are married. WETV spends Sunday all on Wedding bruhaha and of course we just "LOVE" to hear about celebrities getting married (LOL and if we're evil divorced).

So women what are your thoughts on this? Do you feel the pressure of getting married at a certain age? Do you plan to marriage by 30 or already did so? Guys it would be interesting to have your input as well. Do you feel there's more pressure on women to getting married than men?

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Replies to This Discussion

Marriage to me means so much... I think. It's some pressure for women to get married but for me I think traditionally. I feel like because society has governed how we live our lives now that people have gotton away from the purpose of marriage the spirituality of it all.. They have made it like a soap opera. I always hear I want my career to start I wanna do this and that but really to me life can be so much more appreciated when the couple can grow together. To where things can be more appreciated by the two of you. There is nothing wrong with career and love at the same time. To me it doesn't take 800 years to know if that person is what you really want. I do believe in making sure the person is right. Too many people using marriage like its the in thing to do because everyone else is. I wish people would stop looking at tv for how their love and marriage should be and bring some of that original love back in..

The phrase ' life is too short' is over rated. I'm 42 and constantly being hounded about getting a man. All my life someone has arranged my relationships. And they all failed. I've never been in love, so marriage is something I think won't happen for me. But I know that GOD has his own plan and man for me. :) seems like every week, and i shit u not, there's an update on my fb on one of my friends getting married....i have friends my age and a bit younger getting married and having kids before's like a race for it indeed...Marriage should come when you're ready to get's another step that could change your life....I plan on finding a stable career, seeing a bit of the world, and finding a bit of who i am by 30...

The title of this subject made me giggle. A lot of valid points were brought up here, and the one that stands out the most to me is when someone mentioned, "Marriage is over-rated"... I could not agree more.

Overrated but respected.

Divorce rates are high because people rush into a situation for all of the wrong reasons. Status, wealth, fear of embarrassment from marrying over 30, (to avoid being called a "loser") etc. come to mind. We must all keep in mind that the point is not to marry. The point is to STAY married. I walked away from the alter against everyone's wishes in 2010 because I realized despite what everyone was saying, I was not ready. We were not ready. And that is okay ^_^

So hold your heads up, people, take time in getting to know someone, and know that "single" is not synonymous to "alone". And it is better to remain single than to ever settle for less. When the time comes for you to marry, it may not be on everyone else's time. But it will be on time, indefinitely.

This is a awesome topic. I was married at 25 not because of the pressure but because I was asked by the man I loved. But sadly that ended into a divorce.I don't feel like I have to be married to move forward in life and I don't care how people view me either because of it. 


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