Black Women Asian Men United

To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.

FAQ / WARNINGS - Black Women Asian Men United BWAMU - by V

If you don't know who I am, this might be a good time to turn around...but for those who are close to me or have personal experience with me....they have to learn one thing, I don't mean to be rude, I mean to be real...I mean to be honest...be transparent, and be the friend that you need to hear...even though you may not want to.  To everyone else I'm a dick....however, I don't care much as long as I think and feel I'm doing the right thing...and with that...

Always Remember, Men are Just Men, as Women are Just Women, no matter if they are Asian or Black...We are human beings and individuals first!

(**NOTE** There have been certain males that have been blocked from the site and the fb group because it is in our opinion that they are either dangerous to the women or entire population.  Then males include rapists, drug addicts, violent guys, serial creepers with sexual and manipulative issues, that seem to not be able to get it right.  They profess to be cool on the site, friends with me, or other people...but beware, if you are talking to a guy on here or the internet that does not reveal who they are for fear of getting kicked or blasted, there may be an issue and you are taking a forementioned risk.  Please ask around for more details from the group, the lady or males friends you met, and you can always inbox me...)

-HISTORY

 The history of Bwamu is a funny one.  This site was developed after our former site lead by Amaryllis (DCAMBW) was decided to be discontinued.  At that former time, there were only a few facebook groups and sites used to bring this dedicated coupling together.  I took it as a personal mission and used my retarded Charisma to bring people together, and although DCAMBW was local to us, it gained nation wide exposure, most from the East Coast at that time.  While my own philosophy about things were in conflict with that site at that time, it still worked.  My background is in Psychology, Sociology, Social Psychology, and Philosophy.  My own experience of people; however drastic and cynical, is more about fighting the ills of the world and expressing the need to act on ideals and hope.  And thus the mission I wrote clear and true to the philosophy of destroying ignorance with experience of one another was born.  I didn't do this alone, I had help from many passionate and intellectual minds that backed me then.  While we didn't agree on everything, we still fought through to what we have now.  Which is...we have a damn good site that is more genuine and life changing (positively and negatively) than the likes of other social networks like Facebook and Myspace. 

-FRIENDSHIPS

This is the focal point of the site.  Friendships.  I believe and feel that this is the core result of interaction, and can end in experiences you may never have if you never stopped by.  While we don't openly promote relationships, we know they are going to happen.  They might result in breakups, mishaps, players, and such, but we have a few marriages as result of bwamu.  We take the good and the bad in any case.  

 

-DATING

Let's be honest here.  A lot of the ladies here are looking for friendships that lead to relationships, but it shouldn't be the sole focus.  However they happen.  If you look upon many of the members (mostly female at this point and juncture) when we ask why they are here, somewhere, blatantly or subtly, they are looking for relationships.  Some guys are here for that too, but lets look on the other side.  Most guys are looking for sex, sexual experience, to boost their ego, to cheat or move on from their current relationships.  I'm not being a prick just writing this, this is often the case.  I don't believe in sugar coating it.  Be mindful of this, it should not trump the core of interacting and should not be the sole reason you are here.  

 

-RELATIONSHIPS

These things can get messy, yet they can be beautiful things.  Someone said (I believe Ayana Vanzant) that we go through relationships to learn what we need and to get ready for our next relationship.  We are not all ready, but we do need to go through them to learn from them and to learn about ourselves.  If you are here for that, I wish you the best of luck, but cited directly below, I'm going to spell out what can happen, not to deter you, but to warn you about the reality of the internet.  Some people run from reality to find a mate on the net, and when they can't find one on the net, they go back to reality.  You want to know why?  Basically, the internet is not that far from reality.  It's a bunch of imperfect human beings trying to get along, get what they want, and the easiest path to it.  Love is a rare thing, the genuine heart encompassing life changing type of love that we live and probably would die for is so distant in our hearts yet so close that we can taste it type of fantasy.  If we can have it in reality we will.  I honor you searching, giving, and living it...we all become fools because of it, we all hurt when we lose it or mess it up, and we all fail and pick ourselves back up in and try it again time after time.  It must be something worth more than money, distance, and former attachments.  Go for it, do it, but exit if it isn't worth it.  

 

-SEX, CHEATING, BEING PLAYED, LIED TO, BREAKING UP, LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS, GOING STEADY, , AWKWARDNESS AFTER.

A MESSAGE TO THE WOMEN & MEN

Look, when we are dating around, not even if we are seriously looking for a relationship or not, we talk to plenty people.  Some people come forward because we prioritize them more than others, they spark our visual, sexual, or passionate interests, but in this day and age, loyalty is a rare case.  

There are going to be players to sell you dreams for your pussy and money.  (Yes, I said it like that.)  Set set our hearts, our souls, our security, our families on the line just for that hope, and honestly, people play on that.  This is why this social network and making friends of the same sex here on this site is so important.  Socializing and looking around before leaping is key to determining if who you are talking to is genuine or just in it for the game.  

People should talk, be honest, and yes, I understand it can get catty and drama can ensue, especially when the disparity between men and women on this site is pretty vast.  It's like you are put into competition  without knowing it.  Ladies, you should befriend one another and talk to one another.

There are going to be creepers and dudes Private Messaging you, inboxing you, and such.  Have a look around at all the new members pages and poke around the site.  Read what these guys and girls are writing, and really understand who and what you are dealing with before you risk putting yourself out there.  Most of the guys play the backstage, because they are smart enough not to come out in the open and show their hand.  You gals are going to interpret it as being special, private, and something intimate, I get that, I've seen it, heard it, listened to all the stories these last many years.  

Most relationships don't work out.  Some guys are serial daters and about adding that next notch to their belt and bed frame.  They will travel, they will lie, they will talk about what they have, what they do, how much they are getting and be the most polite gentleman for that notch.  If he's honest about it, then good.  Just be weary, and really ask yourself, how many times have you fell for it and never talked about it or revealed it.  No one wants to admit being played, no one wants to be the tattle tell and put a guy on blast after being played, because honestly, to do so would really put yourself on blast for both being ignorant and making foolish choices, this I understand too well.  So we can just circumvent all that and know what we can look for.  Be vigilant.  

The ladies should have a group only for the ladies (Such as the Bella Donna Group http://bwamu2.ning.com/group/Thesisterhood) and really discuss in a manner about what's going on, yeah there are going to be snitches, but let them have those dudes you don't want.  

Learn your own ignorance.   Don't listen to all the rumors and gossip about the bs drama, it's just people being people, bur really evaluate and learn from Bwamu.  Make those friends, entertain ideas that you have never before.  We know some of you youngins came here watching Kpop and Kdramas, we know some of you learned another language in school and thought it would be dope to take in the "culture" which is another form of stereotyping and went with it.  Some of you found this site by looking up Ninja Assassin and wondering if there were any Asian Male Black Women porn.  

Some people even prey on this.  Seems to be the point of interest of people to watch Anime, join conventions, and share language like it's something new.  These are all avenues to game.  I'm opening up the comment box for this and I'm willing to discuss the ideas and warnings I've generally planted here.  

The point of the site is to interact, do so in a free manner.  Protect yourself, you are your own individual responsibilities.  My inbox is open if you want to keep it private and want further advice away from the public.  I'm not a far way Alien like Tom was on Myspace, if I have time I will make it for every one of you.

An initiative has been put in place to limit those men and women who are preying on other members.  If you need more information I have inboxes and repetitive experience of recent and past behavior of certain members. If you want to add in your own story or emails/texts, you can send them in the site email.  While this is only a small population, you have to understand your own responsibility in letting other people in your life.  You can't keep running to the admin and expecting them to fix everything you allowed.  You are an adult and have to take responsibility and be accountable for your own actions.  

 

A MESSAGE ABOUT THE MEN

Just because someone is Asian, doesn't mean they have morals.  It's great to assume that just because someone comes from an Asian background that they are family oriented, hard working, non assholes/players.  It's false.  Yes, there are instances where we know that we may be pressured to date primarily white/asian women, and might be looking to black women for sexual experience or a fling to fill the void until someone comes along.  Much like the game of saying he's a virgin just for you to deflower what has already been deflowered.  

SKYPE/PHONE NUMBERS/PERSONAL INFORMATION

You really got to guard this.  Most of the creeps are going to ask you to skype so they can pull their penises out or ask you to get naked so they can jerk off on you - if that's what you want to do, do it, you are an adult.- you've been warned.  Give a creep your phone number, expect a dick pic.  Message an inbox, constantly irritate you with sexual remarks.  THIS IS THE INTERNET!!!!  These are all distinct possibilities.  


Social Rung

Koreans:  Probably going to get instant booty from the site, because most of the women who are first introduced to the site are fascinated with Kpop, KDramas, Korean BBQ joints, and calling the guys Oppa on here.  Most fetishized girls...yeah, go for you guys...easy easy easy bait.  

Japanese:  Second would be these guys...I mean, c'mon, everyone eats sushi on the site more than they do it's the ladies here.  

Chinese:  That's where all your Dollar Tree, Walmart, and shoe artifacts come from.  Once girls forget about the makeup wearing guys up there, they jump at these guys just for fun.   

Philipino/Filipinos:  The Hispanics of the Asian people...they don't even use chopsticks traditionally for crying out loud.  Ladies love them!

Hmong:  Who???

Viet:  Pho sho...Pho real.  

Laos:  The other Southeast Asian Meat.  

Cambodians:  We are the Hood of all the Asians, and we know it.  Just how it is, but often we are the last to be picked or known after the top 3.  

Pimp:  Will tell you the truth most of the time, base their entitlement for booty on "luv."  Women who deal with this know what it is already most of the time.  

Player:  Generally most guys, either cheating on their other 3 girlfriends, wife, or main girl.  Will lie to you, lead you on, and not answer your direct questions...Then you have the serial guy who will relationship you just for vagina...yes...they do that out here.  Think about it, if they are willing to fly you out, drive out where you are at, or play along with your interests...why not?   Sell you a fantasy that you want to hear, (probably the same one you heard from the last guy)...and it will work...why...cause you want it to.  You wont fess up to being played, because you have to make the same mistake many more times to learn the lesson, so the more you sweep it under the rug, the more you will get played in the future.  When a guy talks about his job, his house, his money...you are being purchased...it's simple as that.  

Mack:  Eh, he knows his strengths, mainly looks or such.  Nice confidence and guess what, there is a line of you thirsties waiting.  

My Parents Wont Approve: And I want to address this thing about guys not wanting to bring you home or date you any further because of his parents.  I'll deliver this as easy as possible.  If you are with a boy that is unable to make life decisions upon his partner without his parents approval, he is not a man.  He is not fit to lead your household or your relationship when needed.  A relationship (if you are into monogamy) is between two people.  At the end of the day, you are going to be the one they talk to, eat with, sleep with, maybe.... have a home with, share finances with, have children with, have sex with, and go to for comfort and their issues.  Between two adults, I don't see how "parents" could fit in unless they are dependent.  

Secondly, some guys use that play to play a women, get the pussy, and have an easy way to move on to the next girl.  Want out of the sexuationship, situation-ship, or relationship...ding ding, yup, take the easy way out and blame parents or tradition...an entity usually never met, just told about. And even if it is true, they knew that before they dated you, so it's malicious.  This is not romeo and juliet, it's them not being adult enough to live out and make their own decisions, to have excuses when it most benefits them.  Or just a game or ploy to say that they are not, will not be into you, just the sex.  

The Uniform:  I personally don't mess with any women or would advise anyone to deal with Uniform, Police, Military, Academy, Guard, etc. especially in the early stages.  The amount of whoredom (and if you don't know, just ask those around who have been in those situations).  It's all fun until you get into what looks to be a financially secure, loyal, dutiful, committed person, and then flip the coin for a person stuck on ship, base, and foreign country, who consistently keeps secrets to secure bonds within the team...and can become controlling...yeah, I'd rather you ask people instead of taking my word for it.  

Cliffnotes:

Nikki Benthall Moore BWAM cliffnotes: (I was able to cut and paste from the post last month when this happened)
Girl finds boy on FB. Girl thinks boy is golden unicorn. Boy is just regular dude. Girl likes boy and boy seemingly likes girl. (Skypes, chats, talks, texts everyday) Boy wants sex, girl wants relatio
nship. Boy says no to relationship, but yes to sex. Girl says yes to sex believing that the boy will change. Boy is happy because he got what he wanted. Girl is happy because she got the boy. Girl realizes she didn't get the boy, only got the D. Girl is hurt, boy goes on about his business. Girl posts warning to BWAM about boy. Girl is (insert whatever scenario, we've seen them all: pregnant, disillusioned, abused, cheated on, infected, angry) actually heart hurt. Girl cannot believe she was duped. BWAM family looks at what is a BWAM-drama rerun. Some are sympathetic because they've been there. Some believe she's silly. Some believe he's opportunistic or worse. (Girl then deletes posts, guy disappears and resurfaces in another girl's inbox)...[guys will do anything and say anything for pussy...fake a whole relationship with you and 3 other girls too.]

The reality is that this is a learning opportunity and it's really a blessing in disguise for both parties. 

All know this BWAM Cliffnote should be saved because it will happen again.

Please use the line below for the sign in process...until then, you are welcome to our chatroom: //http://tinychat.com/bwamu

Yes V, I read the damn page...thank you.  

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Comment by Nikole on July 5, 2014 at 8:20pm
Wow, I'm glad I read this because I thought about all of that but reading it makes it more real. I must admit. I do solely want a relationship to form from this site, but I'm not looking for a smash and pass type of guy, I want the real deal. But I'll be on the look out for those men. Thanks
Comment by Cereal on June 17, 2014 at 11:38am

Hahaha! Sounds about right. Thanks for bring it all in the Air! No sugar coated ISH! Asian guys are guys and there are little shits in every race. 

Comment by Scott on June 13, 2014 at 11:47pm
All I know is I've been all grins since I found the place earlier today. My whole life I figured I was rolling uphill every time I "hit" on a black woman. Didn't realize there was a full culture of us out there. Fun place already, thanks for making it available!
Comment by berrycurry1 on June 1, 2014 at 1:13pm
Totally appreciate you breaking it down. You answered questions I didn't know I had.
Comment by Jee Han Kim on June 1, 2014 at 12:08am

worst wingman ever! (i'm kidding, did I really have to mention?)

Comment by Naffy on May 31, 2014 at 3:58pm

This was very thorough.  I respect that.

Comment by Chilapa on May 30, 2014 at 9:01am

Thank you for posting this V. It provides a lot of insight.

Comment by V...Catchy Cool Username on May 22, 2014 at 12:43am

I think I've been putting this off for years, I mean I've been the shoulder and the ears for many people on this site, I can't say I'm tired of it, but I'm tired of the ignorance of it.  We are human first.  

Comment by Dan L on May 22, 2014 at 12:21am

Thanks for posting this. What spurred you to post this, if I may ask? Were there grievances and complaints?

Our Mission (Tenative)

***To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.


***To be tolerant of all views of all members on this site.m (Suffering and disagreements are part of life people.)

***Respect all religious, spiritual, and agnostic views of it's members.

***To be more accepting than exclusive, yet hold the right to remove those that harm others.

*Freedom of speech, thought, and heart are placed highly...as if they are based on the foundation of truth and don't injure others (in the defined form of physical, proprietorial, or financial harm). Debate, heated or otherwise are allowed, for it is the persons involved that must deal with the emotional or mental "suffering," if any.

****P.S. Learn how to take a joke, and identify the intent of the people which you are talking to.  You are responsible for yourself, your own responses, reactions, and giving power to yourself and others over you.  Be accountable, don't play victim all the time.  These are still people, some people are up front, others hide behind their profiles.  Don't make personal issues site issues, if you take off your clothes on skype or in real life and bicker about it on Bwamu...guess what, it's a personal issue.  Grow up.

***All that is needed for membership is the support of the movement, and active participation by all!



Administrators:

contact: BlackWAsianM@gmail.com

 

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