Black Women Asian Men United

To support, encourage, & promote interaction between Asian Men & Black Women.

This looks long, doesn't it? O.o

Well the title is how I found out about the cheating. Was I hurt? Nope. Did I care? Nope. Why? Because I knew eventually it was going to happen. How? The person he was is the person he still is.

What's the story?
We planned to hang out at his house. I go early in the morning to his house thinking we were going to cuddle and fall asleep again, but no.. that didn't happen. Called his phone.. no answer. I'm at the door.. no answer until his roommate answered it. Where was Ngo (my ex's last name)? He was not at home whatsoever. His room looks like shit, so I (being the great girlfriend that I am) start to clean his room. I mean I'm making up his bed (clearing clothes, trash, and fixing sheets), I'm picking up the floor, I'm hanging clothes, etc just so he can come back to a spotless room.

Now here's the kicker, I find a bikini SET. One that is a size or two bigger than mine. Did I get pissed and storm out? Nope, I laid it out neatly, took a pic of it, and sent it to my best friend. Now she was pissed. Me? Not so much, I honestly just literally laughed. I left it there neatly in his chair and proceeded to clean, but wait, what did I find? Let's say a receipt containing food for 2, lube, and missing condoms lol. Oh yes, I'm laughing right now. I proceeded to clean and then I hear him coming through his front door, then he comes in the room and looks surprised and is upset that I didn't let him know that I was there. He accused me of going through his things (I'm nosy but I respect people's stuff). Let me remind you that everything I found was in the areas that I had to clean. I calmly told him that he knew I was coming in the morning so don't give me the bullshit. As I turned my back he hid the bikini lol the one that I found and laid out neatly. He smiled as I turned back around and went to the bathroom where I immediately hear water running.

Did I curse him out? No. Did I storm out? No. Did I kiss him? Hell no. Did I hug him? Hell no but he hugged me. I forget how but we somehow got on the subject of the cheating, and of course he lied "it was my birthday and I had some friends over and I let her change in my room". Do I look stupid and inexperienced? No. But I let him finish his lie (btw, I wasn't invited to his little "jacuzzi party"). I believe everyone who has common sense would think "ok, she changed in your room.. but left her bikini and she's not your girl or anyone related to you? " (now does that make sense? Hell no). Now after that obvious lie, I was pissed. Why? Because he lied and he knew I knew he lied... he lied while looking into my eyes... he lied even though he got caught red handed. I went to put on my shoes and he had the nerves to try to reach for me. My reflexes kicked in and I drew my fist back because I was very close to punching him out, but I didn't.

Did he ever come clean? Yes, the next day. He text me with that "let's start over baby" bullshit. That "I'm sorry.. blah blah blah" bullshit. That "I just want you in my life and have a family" bullshit.

Did I break up with him? After a week of not speaking to him I did. But then a month passed and he was begging for a second chance. Seriously, every day he asked to get back together. I know I could do much better. But I allowed him to see me again. Were we back together? Hell no, but I was letting him prove himself. May I say that he did a horrible job. Granted he FINALLY made his way to come see me for a change (since I always went to see him), plus he brought flowers, went to the park with my son and I, and bought us food. Good job right? Then he asked if we were back together. . Nope..

Here's the problem with that, I don't forgive and I don't forget. If I can't forgive you and if I can't forget what you did then there's no way the relationship with work. I gave you the second chance you begged for but there's no way to move on. It's not the fact that he was unfaithful, it was the fact that he just lied to my face.

A few weeks ago one of the messages he sent me basically stated that I have something good and don't even realize it. Wtf? He cheated and he had the nerves to say that, yet I was faithful and he didn't realize how good he had it until it was too late.

Now I'm not writing this because I'm hurt and need it off my chest. I was honestly amused by the situation because he told me the type of person he "was" but he wanted me to change him. In all honesty I believe once a player, always a player and I should've stuck to what I believed in.

Am i embarrassed? Hell no because I'm a great girlfriend type and feel that the next guy will be better than the rest :-P

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Comment by Porsha. on September 25, 2014 at 12:28am
Your comment just warmed my heart Sabrina
Thank you! :-)
I'm sure I'll run into Mr. Right eventually
Comment by Sabrina <3 on September 23, 2014 at 7:05pm
Dude this was horrible as in what he did to you. But you... Gosh you deserve
A noble peace prize by acting the way you did. Your awesome and I can't wait until you find the one that both you and your son deserve =)
Comment by Porsha. on August 26, 2014 at 7:10pm
You may need to buy some more because I think he made them into souvenirs lol

Thank you Nemesis, I'll have to say that it took many years to learning to control myself. You're right, with patience I'll run into the right one.

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